Helppppp

Errr...attempting to write a paper...noooo...Vanity Fair...809 pages...help...tears...no more quotes please...what MLA style...rules...nooo...sobbing now...why didn't i do this yesterday...damn procrastination...beautiful day outside today, sun, birds chirping, leaves growing and I am stuck in the library...brain overload again...errr...help

Tears and Rain

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;

Hold memory close at hand,

Help me understand the years.

How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.

How I wish I would save my soul.

I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,

All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
***

So I took what's mine by eternal right.

Took your soul out into the night.

It may be over but it won't stop there,

I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals.

And love is blind and that I knew when,

My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.

I've been addicted to you.

I have been quite addicted to James Blunt’s Back to Bedlam, it is really quite wonderful. Well the truth is, it is a bit depressing, but since things have not been exactly blissful lately, it suits my mood flawlessly. These are from two of my favorite songs and I can relate to them completely.

On a happy note only 5 more weeks of classes!!! Within those exclamation points lie an assortment of feelings: happiness, exhilaration, pleasure, fear, anxiety, dread… This is what I have worked so incredibly hard for, but how can it be over? This is me: learning, school, knowledge, stress (lol) what am I going to do once it is truly done? Yet, with graduation day almost upon me I am so ecstatic, can I have truly made it? Only 53 days, 0 hours, 10 minutes and 26 seconds to go…

Spring Break is officially over

I watched a movie last night, Walkout, about the Chicano community in the US. For those of you whose fabulous education did not enlighten this matter (that is just about everyone) Mexican Americans are Chicanos, WTF, yes the same thoughts went through my mind, but ok…So I get to be called a Chop because I am a Portuguese American…hmmm, that is nice…

Ok so spring break is now over, oh the thought! Which means I must stop being lazy and do some school work, sniff, sniff. (Some will be glad to know my debauchery was extremely limited, well Friday night was...ripping lol) It is so sad, I am such a procrastinator, yesterday I attempted to write a paper, an oh so interesting one (as they all are), and I was only able to write one page (in four hours!!!). Why??? Well, simply because I know it is not due until Tuesday. My mind blocks out any form of intelligent thought and I cannot write a decent paper, unless it is due in an insanely short amount of time. So when will I be able to write the remaining 6 pages? The hour before it is due, strange, insane, yes it is, but then so am I…

Oh my, it's me!!!

Well hello there, although you must already know me if you have made it here, my name is Jennifer (thank you mom and dad, you have given me a name I can live with). So, why am I here? Well, for a few reasons. Hey everyone's doing it and I want to be cool (haha, that is not true, I'm not much of a follower, unless you count that time...). I like to write, not always, only when I am "in the mood," writing helps clear my mind and my soul (honestly my mind is so far gone,and my soul, where did I put that the last time I used it? Hmmmm). I have many interests and have decided to use this fabulously innovative technology to regurgitate my thoughts on a number of those interests. For those of you who don’t like literature, make your escape now, because I will be writing extensively on that subject (Jeff literature means books so leave now, quickly…). The last thing I am going to add is an explanation of the name I chose for my blog because I know I am going to get many questions about that. So lets clear that up, negative capability is a term that was introduced by Keats in one of his letters, “I mean Negative Capability, that is when man is capable of being in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts without any irritable reaching after fact & reason.” "Being in uncertainty” lies somewhere between the everyday mundane and complete certainty and the various prospectives of a more effusive existence. Explanation please, sure, Keats believed that people have the capability to recognize that there are things that simply cannot be resolved and therefore understood. That is it for now, for those of you who have gotten this far (applause) thanks...